Do you suspect that your husband or wife is having an affair? Do you want to know how to spot the signs that tell you if your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you?
The trouble is, even if you’re married or simply with someone for years it can still be hard to recognise the signs that they are cheating, but you will usually get the feeling that something is ‘going on’ just by noticing little things that are different in their attitude. It won’t hurt to check them out, but do it in a non-obvious manner to avoid alerting them to your suspicions. If you are wrong then there is no harm done if they don’t find out.
The internet has seen the rise of online affairs, which often begin harmlessly…
Tips on catching a cheat.
Well, here is some tips and advice that will help you to find out if your husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating on you. There is also a section at the end of the article on the new form of cheating – online affairs, which are also known as cyber-affairs.
Here are some telltale signs of a cheating spouse or partner.
You may find that many of these signs apply to you and cause you to suspect that your partner is indeed cheating on you. However, if you confront them with your suspicions before you have definite proof of their infidelity then you will tip them off too soon and they will start to be more careful in the future, making it harder to catch them cheating.
- Your cheating partner will be more attentive to you at the start of an affair due to the guilt that the cheater is feeling. Someone who is a serial cheater might not show this sign as they are emotionally immune to thoughts of guilt about their cheating.
- Once the affair has been going on for some time, and the guilt lessens, the cheater will start to find fault with you. This is an attempt to justify to themselves that what they are doing is not wrong because you are to blame in some way for making them look elsewhere.
- If the cheating spouse is a man, he will lose interest in you and your children if any, and stop doing general chores around the house such as mowing the lawn, repairs or decorating.
- Your sex life may change from the norm. You may have more sex, with your cheating partner asking you to try out new things, or your sex life may be reduced considerably as they are getting it elsewhere.
- Your cheating partner will behave differently towards everyone in the house especially you. If questioned about the way they are behaving they will try to put the blame on your behaviour for the way they are acting.
- Your cheating partner will be spending more money than usual because of his affair so it is a good idea to keep an eye on his financial statements to find out.
- You will notice that your cheating partner will pay more attention to their personal appearance such as the clothes they wear, their grooming habits and physical fitness.
What to look for to detect a cheating spouse or partner.
- Physical evidence can be checked to see if your partner is cheating on you. Look in their pockets or wallets for receipts, pieces of paper with phone numbers or addresses on, etc.
- Be alert to telephone calls where your cheating partner whispers or cuts the telephone call short if you are present. Also, be suspicious if you get phone calls where the caller hangs up on you. Cellular phones are a bit harder to check because the cheater will usually keep them close to them at all times.
- Pay as you go phones won’t have any billing information that you can check but contract phones will and you might be able to check for frequently called numbers. You could call some of these numbers to see who answers, but this can tip off your cheating spouse or partner so be very careful.
The following is a guide to help you determine if your mate is cheating on you. After reading this list you may find there is some area of concern. Do not confront the cheater. This will only cause them to clean up their act and make it more difficult for you to catch them. You may not have enough proof to make your case. I would urge you to seek professional help. Call the Gulf Coast Florida and Alabama Private Investigator and Cheating Spouse Specialists! Husbands, Wives, Girlfriends, and Boyfriends.
22 percent of married men have strayed at least once during their married lives.
• 14 percent of married women have had affairs at least once during their married lives.
• Younger people are more likely candidates; in fact, younger women are as likely as younger men to be unfaithful.
• 70 percent of married women and 54 percent of married men did not know of their spouses’ extramarital activity.
• Cheating spouse statistics confirm that 50 and 70 percent of married men (between 38 and 53 million men) have cheated or will cheat on their wives. One study found that 2/3 of the wives (26 to 36 million women) whose husbands were cheating had no idea their husbands were having an affair – largely because they failed to recognize the telltale signs.
Most cheating husbands and cheating wives fall into two categories. One involves an individual who is married and is seeing someone behind the spouse’s back. The second involves two separate married individuals who are both having affairs with one another. Both couple’s partners are usually unaware of this deception.
Cheaters generally rendezvous with their lover sometime during their work day. In most cases, the cheater and their paramour live or work in the same general area. This gives them time and opportunity to carry on their secretive behavior without threat of being discovered by their partner or co- workers. You will also find that they try and control all information that you get concerning their daily whereabouts. They will deny everything unless confronted with proof about their indiscretions.
Cheating basically involves many lies. Cheaters are always lying about where they are, what they do, and how they really feel. These lies are often mixed with some truth and are incorporated into every aspect of their life that they share with you. Lies and deceptions can only go on for so long though before noticeable clues start to poke holes in the façade that they have created.
Here are some tried and tested clues or “signs” that cheaters most often exhibit:
• Your partner has had a history or prior instance of infidelity. This falls under the “if it has happened before it is likely to happen again” rule. Those men and women who have cheated once will generally relapse.
• Your partner has been spending a lot of time lately working out or in the tanning salon cultivating their appearance.
• Your spouse seems to act more cold and or distant and inconsiderate of your feelings.
• You receive hang up calls at home in the middle of the night or at odd times of the day.
• You start receiving a lot of wrong number calls at home.
• Your partner is spending a lot of time on the phone away from you out of ear-shot.
• You walk into a room and your girlfriend or boyfriend suddenly hangs up the phone or acts odd. Your partner may also leave the house or room to talk on their cell phone.
• Your partner hides their cell phone bill from you or is very protective of the bill when it arrives in the mail.
• Your cheating boyfriend or girlfriend has secretly purchased a new cell phone.
• Your partner receives suspicious voicemail messages.
• You discover unfamiliar numbers stored or dialed on your partner’s cell phone.
• Your partner has recently started using phone cards.
• Your partner seems to never answer their cell or home phone in a timely manner when you try to reach them by phone during the day. If they do answer, they seem to be very evasive with you and not truthful about their current whereabouts. They may tell you that they have been having cell phone problems.
• You begin noticing your partner lying to you about insignificant things.
• Your partner has suddenly stopped complaining about things in their relationship with you that have bothered them in the past.
• You notice a new cologne/ perfume or sexy clothing in places like your partner’s vehicle.
• Your partner has a secret P. O. Box that they are hiding from you.
• You discover unfamiliar earrings or jewelry show up in your husband or wife’s vehicle or somewhere in your home.
• Your partner’s confidence level seems to have risen considerably for no apparent reason.
• Your partner has found reasons not to attend family or holiday gatherings.
• Your partner starts having their laundry handled independently.
• You notice new cologne or perfume scents on your partner’s clothing.
• Your partner seems to have started acting in a paranoid manner. This may include such behavior as your partner inquiring if you have been “snooping” on them.
• You notice unfamiliar hairs (a different color or length than you or your partners) in their vehicle, on their clothing, or in your home.
• Your partner is consistently washing their vehicle and keeping it meticulously cleaned out.
• When confronted by you, your partner says “it’s just your imagination” or “you are crazy”. These are absolutely the most overused exclamations that a guilty partner uses to deflect the accusation.
• Your partner has a secret banking account that they are keeping you unaware of.
• Your partner exhibits defensive behavior in normal conversations with you.
• You notice the odor of cigarette smoke on your non-smoking partner’s clothing or in their vehicle. This is usually from the partner meeting with their paramour in bars or being around that new lover who smokes.
• You notice unexplained mileage changes on the odometer of your partner’s vehicle.
• Your partner has acquired a locking safe they keep at home that only they have access to.
• You notice credit card receipts from locations your partner has visited that seem questionable.
• You notice your partner seems distant and distracted most of the time.
• Your partner inquires about your daily/weekly schedule more often than usual.
• Your partner has developed a sudden interest in a new hobby or sport.
• Friends or acquaintances start informing you that they saw your partner out somewhere with some unfamiliar individual. Most times, friends, family, or acquaintances will find out about the cheating before you do.
• You notice changes in you and your partner’s sex life. This could be more activity or less activity. New or experimental sexual techniques and acts could be involved.
• You notice a change in contraception or pregnancy prevention methods between you and your partner. This can include the sudden introduction of condoms by your partner to prevent the possible passing of any sexually transmitted diseases.
• You notice your cheating wives and husbands departing from home to work earlier than usual on a consistent basis.
• You notice your husband or wife is spending less time at home and more time “at the office” or “working late”. This would be unaccounted for time.
• Your girlfriend or boyfriend spends a lot of time on the computer e-mailing or instant messaging at odd times of the night. Statistics indicate that 31% of people have had an online conversation that has led to real-time sex. Approximately 70% of time on-line is spent in chat rooms or sending e-mail; of these interactions, the vast majority are romantic in nature. 38% of people have engaged in explicit online sexual conversation and 50% of people have made phone contact with someone they chatted with online.
• Your partner is frequently deleting e-mail messages.
• You notice your spouse being very secretive and protective of the activity on their home computer. This may be while they are in chat rooms or on the internet.
• Your partner tells you “I just need my space” when confronted regarding their suspicious behavior.
• Your partner ignores or deflects your romantic/sexual advances.
• Your partner begins losing interest in romantic gestures like giving you gifts, cards, or flowers. This may also work in reverse due to their guilt over their indiscretions.
• You observe lipstick or make up stains on your cheating husband’s clothing.
• Your partner has been spending a lot of time with a close friend or coworker that they have known since before they met you. This can even be on the telephone or through e-mail. Another sign is that the two have had a romantic involvement together in their past.
• Your partner begins losing interest in holding hands with you.
• Your partner speaks to you often regarding a new coworker. This may be a new secretary, manager, or intern that your partner spends a lot of time alone at work or on the road with.
• You start receiving a lot of phone calls from members of the opposite sex who work with your partner.
• You notice odd charges on your partner’s credit card statements or you find receipts, email confirmation or messages from merchants regarding gifts and flowers which you did not receive.
• You discover new lingerie or sexy attire that your partner has never worn in intimate activity with you.
• Your partner radically changes their hair style and/or hair color.
• Your partner changes their style of clothing. They may begin to start dressing up more and buying more expensive or stylish clothing.
• You notice your partner is spending more and more time with friends that you have never personally met before.
• Your partner has recently obtained artificial augmentation of some sort. This could be breast implants, a facelift, tummy tuck, etc.
• Your partner has received a new promotion and is spending more time out of town than usual.
• Your partner is spending a lot of time visiting “friends” or “relatives”.
Did you recognize some familiar behaviors or clues from the list? Maybe it’s time you let COMPASSPOINT INVESTIGATIONS find out what is really going on with your spouse or partner. You deserve to know the truth!
• At the beginning of an affair the mate that is cheating is more attentive to his spouse. This is due to guilt that the cheater may be feeling at the time.
• After the affair has been going on for a while the person cheating seems to find fault with the person he/she may be living with to try to justify the affair in their mind.
• Cheating spouses may lose attention in the activities in the home. They don’t show interest in the livelihood of you or the children that live in the home. Nor do they have any desires to do any fix-ups to the home (i.e. lawn care, house repairs, etc…..)
• Intuition (gut feeling) that something is not right usually is a sign you may have a cheating problem “when in doubt check them out”.
• Cheaters may have a change in sex life (i.e. more sex, less sex) as well as unexplained sexual requests.
• The cheater has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home, especially the mate (i.e. if he/she didn’t act the way they do, well then maybe I wouldn’t be doing the things I do).
• Another sign is “Finances”. “If someone wants to play they have to pay” therefore keeping an eye on their monies (i.e. check stubs, bank account balances, credit card bills, etc…) would tell you whether their spending more money than usual.
• Grooming habits will change. Cheaters will be more attentive to their person (e.i. the way they dress, frequent bathing, physical fitness, grooming of their hair, switching of colognes, etc…).
• Physical signs to look for to determine whether or not someone is having an affair is lipstick on the collar, odors of cologne/perfume on a shirt/blouse, checking underwear for secretion stains. You can also check their wallets and/or the glove compartments of their car to see if they left receipts, pieces of paper with phone numbers, addresses, condoms, etc.
• You may want to monitor your spouse for two weeks. During this time keep track of the mileage on their car. Monitor the time they leave for work and the time they come home. Keep a calendar and note the times, this should help you establish a pattern. If your mate claims to be working late, check paycheck stubs to verify this overtime.
• Be tuned in to home telephone calls when your mate has a tendency to whisper or gives a quick answer and immediately hangs up or when you answer the telephone and get an abrupt hang up.
• Many cheaters use cellular telephones to communicate with their lovers. Should your mate have a cellular telephone you may want to get a detailed billing of the calls made from the cellular phone to determine whether a certain number has been frequently called. A good area to start looking is for the first number called when your mate first leaves for work and the same number called again right before they return home.
• Female cheaters are more discreet in the selection of a lover . This is most likely because of their concern of Sexually Transmitted Disease’s (STD’s). Most females are looking for a longer lasting relationship rather than a “one night stand”. In past years men were the aggressors, in society today, with the increase of women in the work force, women have become equally aggressive.
• When a female is having an affair she tends to have more of a “glow” about her.
Did you recognize some familiar behaviors or clues from the list? If your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you it is not your fault. Maybe it’s time you let a professional private investigator find out what is really going on with your spouse or partner. You deserve to know the truth!