The niggling suspicion that your partner is cheating on you can be as poisonous to a relationship as your cheating spouse. The constant uncertainty and the friction it places on a possibly already unstable marriage can tip things over the edge. If you can spot the signs of a cheating spouse early you can avoid this. Here are 10 common signs that your spouse may be having an affair.
1. Strange phone calls
Do you answer the phone to hear someone hang up as soon as they hear your voice? Does your spouse talk very quietly sometimes on the phone or take mobile calls out of your earshot. If they are in communication with their lover by the phone you may be able to spot when. Try to notice a look of guilt on his face after a call like that and you might have your answer straight away.
2. Different smells
Does your partner come home smelling of cigarette smoke after work? Can you smell perfume or cologne on their clothes too? Or does your spouse start to use fragrances more often when they never did before? Changes in habits and odd new smells they care not to explain can send a strong signal.
3. Sexual changes
Does your sex life change suddenly? Do you find you are getting less sex then before, or does your sex life suddenly improve without warning. Increased or decreased sex drive without any explanation could signify changes in their sexual activities.
Some people are able to hide their cheating very well and act exactly the same as if they were not. Most people however will not be that poker faced and may exhibit guilty behavior such as looking uncomfortable around you, or suddenly becoming very quiet, or even becoming much louder and more talkative but usually about nothing. If their behavior around you becomes more erratic than usual they may be wrestling with guilt and it is showing in their voice, face and actions.
5. Changes in money
Is your partner spending more money than they used to? Are they buying more clothes and going out for dinner more with ‘friends’. Changes in lifestyle and money could easily be linked to an affair but not always so be careful. If you have access to their credit card summaries you can see what and where they have been spending which can be a big clue.
6. Working out
Does your spouse suddenly start working out to get fitter and more attractive without warning or discussion with you? Changes in exercise and how they look may be overlooked because you may be pleased with it at first but it could be for the benefit of another person!
7. Cleaning up
Another possible sign your partner is having an affair is if they start cleaning up after themselves. By this I mean deleting emails, cleaning out the history on their computer, locking their phone or deleting messages often. This sort of suspicious “paper shredding” activities usually means they are trying to hide something from you.
8. Odd friendships
Do your mutual friends start behaving differently around you? Or start making odd remarks you cannot quite work out? Sometimes your friends may know but will not tell you so you can use their reactions to confirm your suspicions without having to press them for information.
9. Less time for you
Does time together suddenly become an issue? Do business trips increase or activities they cannot involve you seem to crop up on a much more regular basis? Do you suddenly not know where your spouse is most of the time? All this extra time could be going into seeing another person.
As much as you don’t want to be right you know your partner best. If your gut instinct is telling you there is something wrong it may be that all these little things have formed into a feeling at the back of your mind without you consciously thinking about it. While evidence and clues are most important to judge the facts you cannot ignore your own heart and mind either. Sometimes you also may not really believe it despite the clues and you may be like the woman I mentioned earlier who jumped the gun!
Hopefully you can use these signs of an affair to determine if you have a problem and what to do about it. Just be careful they are not planning a surprise birthday party or something else secretive and you accuse them of the wrong thing! Be certain and do your homework. Call us today for peace of mind.